Are Time-Outs Effective?

As parents, we are often concern about what is the best approach to discipline our kids.  We know that establishing boundaries, household rules and guidance will help our kids to be better versions of themselves.  However, what does the research shows in terms of disciplinary actions and consequences, particularly with the popular time-out approach?

Let's review the most recent evidence on time-outs and how effective this disciplinary tool can be for our kids. Even though there are some differences of opinion regarding time-outs, so far, the evidence doesn't show that it would be detrimental for our little ones. 

In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrician and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry recommend the time-out approach. They even recommend this technique for the most common behavior disorders such as: oppositional defiant and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.  These time-out techniques have helped improve kids' behaviors, particularly those who have been diagnosed with these type of disorders. 

Some experts on this topic such as Dr. Siegel and Dr. Bryson invite parents to consider certain emotional experiences when incorporating time-outs as a discipline tool.  When implementing a time-out, it is important to consider the technique from the perspective of love and not punishment.

For some kids, the isolation experience can cause emotional distress.  Sometimes these intense emotions are the cause for children to misbehave and have a disruptive behavior.  Often times worse than the actual reason for applying the time-out technique, as they have not developed self regulations strategies yet.  

The recommendations suggested by Dr. Siegel and Dr. Bryson include a time-in versus time-out.  The time-in needs to be consider from the perspective of focusing in the love connection. This involves teaching and explaining the behaviors and expectations in a calming manner. Time-in, is about inviting kids to reflect on their behavior, providing guidance and forming stronger relationships versus isolation.  

Other specialists do not recommend the replacement of time-outs for time-ins as they explain that time-ins can lead to argumentative behavior. Therefore, they do not recommend time-ins, there is also very little evidence that proves that this technique is successful.

The Child Mind Institute recommends effective ways to implement a time-out technique base on the age and the maturity level of the child. 

For time-out to be a successful technique there are some strategies to consider:

•  The time should be a minute per the child's age or a maximum of 3  minutes
•  Handle strong feelings later or when the child is calm
•  Explain what behavior led to time-out
•  Don't use time-outs for every minor offense
•  Use them consistently
•  After time-out is completed give your children an opportunity to repair their behavior
•  Hug your kids after time-out to reassure the love connection
•  Time-outs are best for kids between 2 to 8 years of age

We know that there are critics of the time-out technique however, as evidence suggests the time-out technique can help to modify kids' behaviors.  The time-out technique can also be used as a learning lesson for our little ones or a teachable moment.

As parents we can explain what they did wrong and how to repair these behaviors.  Also we need to consider our kids' personalities.  If we have a child who enjoys time in his/her room, or alone time, then a time-out in their room is not going to be effective. 

At the end, we can use our best judgement as parents and apply best practices to implement a successful time-out.  It is important to consider that after every time-out we should emphasize how much we love them so that they don't perceive this technique as a rejection.