The "Terrible Twos" Why This Phase Is So Challenging?

 What to experience in this phase?

A normal part of any child's development is the one known as the terrible twos! During this phase, parents may wonder what all these changes are about.  You may begin to experience:

• Temper tantrums
• Meltdowns
• Kicking
• Screaming
• Fighting 

According to the Doctor of Medicine, Jay L. Hoecker, in this phase children are going through major changes: emotionally, motor skills, intellectually, and socially. Since they understand more than what they can express, it is challenging for them to voice their opinions clearly.  

Children are realizing that they are individuals.  As individuals they would like to make some of their own decisions and act more independently.  However, they are also learning that there are rules to follow.  For them, waiting, patience, and self-control are still developing as their brains cannot process these concepts yet.  All of these experiences are highly frustrating for them and in turn creating behaviors thar are challenging for parents.  

How to manage the "Terrible Twos"

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends the following:

• Keep regular schedules
• Praise behaviors you approve
• Ignore behaviors you may want to discourage
• Model non-violent behavior (instead of yelling, spanking or hitting)
• Redirect or distract when you can
• Keep rules simple with brief explanations
• Offer several choices to assert independence
• Be consistent
• Stay calm

If your child misbehaves in public take your child aside and explain or remove yourself from the public space and return when they are calmer if possible.  It is normal to lose patience with each other. Try to stay calm and redirect behavior.  It is important to correct behaviors with love and respect. 

As a mother, I am still learning how to manage this phase myself by implementing these strategies. Teaching appropriate phrases for them to use is also a helpful strategy.